Genre: Humor, Romance
They didn’t see that coming when Lu Han came back one night, drenched and cold and holding an equally drenched cardboard box which they thought containing nothing.
Until it moved.
Zitao let out a shriek while the rest of the elder members gasped.
Lu Han put down the box and burst into tears, “I can’t leave it alone! It was raining hard outside and I found this near a garbage can in front of the ramyun shop at the corner of the street and its box was flooded and—and—”
And the box fell to its side and something wet and small struggled its way out and it meowed. Very cutely.
Very, very cutely.
In an instant, tension was dropped as five voices chorused together, “Awww...”
None of them were familiar with cats. They underwent a long, grueling debate whether it was a girl or boy and should they feed him with their unhealthy leftovers or the overpriced, nutritious cat food they would have to buy under their manager’s nose. With their own money. Which was not much anyway, they barely could afford snacks every weekend.
Since they couldn’t determine if it was more suitable for Minmin or Xingxing or Chenchen or Hanhan or Taotao or (not preferably) Fanfan, the five EXO-M members decided to call it Cat. A unisex name, like Yixing would point out, his face remained blank even when Cat scratching and biting and fighting for its freedom as he and Minseok put him under torture (a warm shower and Pantene).
Despite the troubles and whatnots, Cat won their hearts within not even an hour. As soon as Minseok dried it with Zitao’s expensive, salon-expert hairdryer, it was apparent that Cat’s fur was acceptably long and smooth, making it a perfect cuddle toy for Lu Han. It pleasantly loved to be stroked and stayed still on top of Jongdae’s lap and not even bother to put its head inside Yixing’s opened bag of Lay’s as they watched TV together.
Now the only thing left is to figure out how they would tell Yifan about Cat. They were worried, doubted that someone with incapability of having sufficient amount of tolerance and affection would let a cat inside their apartment. But that very person texted them later that night, saying he was staying overnight at EXO-K’s dorm. Junmyeon’s room, to be exact, but no one dared to say that out loud.
So it was the end of Day-1 and everyone was happy and Cat was content, as it made itself comfortable to sleep on its savior’s bed that night.
(“Something’s wrong,” Yifan whispered to Junmyeon, hands kept caressing the latter’s back as they snuggled under a Pororo comforter, only minutes away to sleep.
Junmyeon responded softly, “What makes something to be wrong?”
“It’s too peaceful,” the elder frowned. The room was dark, but he could sense his boyfriend giving him a questioning look. “Zitao hasn’t texted me about Minseok telling him another ghost story. Yixing hasn’t called me confessing that he mistakenly used my toothbrush again and Jongdae hasn’t reported about Han playing soccer in the living room.”
“That sounds horribly wrong,” the younger agreed. “But isn’t peacefulness a good thing?”
“It’s too peaceful, Junmyeon.”
“Just let them be and consider you’re off duty for tonight.” Junmyeon placed a brief kiss on the captain’s jawline, hands already sneaking their way under Yifan’s pajamas. “Since you haven’t filled yours here for sometimes now.”)
“You bought cat foods.”
“Lots of cat foods.”
“Indeed. Cat needs to stop eating whatever junk food we have for lunch and dinner, don’t try to deny it.”
“I won’t. The only objection we have is why are you using all of the money we saved on Snacks Deposit account?”
“Not to mention that one-third of our money assigned for food, monthly food are now missing?”
“How do you plan to survive my wushu wrath because now I can’t fulfill my needs of cakes?” Zitao thrusted his wushu stick in Lu Han’s direction.
“I’M SORRY, OKAY!” and for the second time in less than twenty-four hours, Lu Han was reduced to a pathetic, weeping lump of being. “It was just... hard to pick which one Cat would like better, alright. There was tuna and salmon and venison and duck, dried food and canned, a—“
“Venison? What kind of cat eats venison?”
“Okay, okay, we get it,” Minseok let out an exasperated groan, eyeing the stack of cat foods in distaste. Their dorm smelled like a pet shop already.
“We can still go downstairs and steal some K’s stock of food, you know,” Yixing supplied helpfully.
The others stared at him.
“Well,” Jongdae sighed. “Duizhang better not hear any of this.”
(Some levels below their dorm, Yifan sneezed).
It was the end of Day-2, Yifan hadn’t came back and somehow Cat had grown a liking to play with Zitao’s toes.
The next morning, there was a loud shout coming from Jongdae and Yifan’s shared room.
The members rushed to rescue whatever it was that needed to be saved, only to find there was really nothing that they could.
Cat had knocked over Yifan’s skin care products. And their contents was spilled everywhere.
And Yifan never, ever, used a less than 300 dollars product to maintain his godlike appearance.
The problem got more serious when Kyungsoo noticed that the M members hadn’t been going to him for a break from Yixing’s monotonous ramyeon menu in their dorm.
It was something more like...
“You guys, I haven’t seen you shopping for groceries for a while,” he commented. The five members of EXO-M froze in their seats.
“Uhm, we just don’t, okay. It’s not really our thing. Groceries. Shopping.”
“Yeah, and it’s not as if someone in our household has half the decency of a cook like you do,”Jongdae tried to reason.
“Wait,” said Jongin, who was sitting not far from them, looking as if he was recalling something. “I was in their dorm yesterday. Their kitchen was clean.”
Their kitchen was clean.
“By ‘clean’, you mean...”
“But of course, it’s always clean! I’m in charge of cleaning, remember? The cleaning mom!” Minseok’s tone indicated that he was panicking.
“You don’t clean the kitchen, hyung. It’s Xingxing-ge’s territory,” added Chanyeol, now looking at the dancer. And it was just not Yixing’s nature to clean.
The said dancer just stared back at him blankly, while the rest four fellows remained frozen.
Baekhyun studied his counterparts carefully, “Seriously, guys? You haven’t cooked for days? What happened?”
Yifan and Junmyeon were out for groceries.
“I appreciate it that you willingly shop for my groceries, but,” Yifan said worriedly as he picked a choco pie box on the floor that fell from their trolley. The mountain of food Junmyeon threw in clearly exceeded its capacity load. “Aren’t you buying too much?”
“You haven’t seen your own fridge, have you? It’s empty.”
“Why is it empty when it is always too small for Zitao to put all his cakes in?”
“Exactly,” said the vocalist nonchalantly as he pushed their trolley to the cashier. Yifan trailing behind him.
He put his hand on Junmyeon’s waist as the cashier totaled their purchase, burying his nose on his petite boyfriend’s hair that smelled like strawberries and milk.
And then he sneezed.
“Uh, so let me sum this up for you guys,” Jongin started. “You brought a cat home, without Duizhang’s consent, and you spent almost all of your money on its food, again, without Duizhang’s consent, and now you can’t even feed yourselves without raiding our very own supply of food and make Kyungsoo-hyung cook for you.”
“You have to promise us not to tell Duizhang about this,” Lu Han plead with glossy eyes, as Sehun rubbed his back comfortingly.
“And you’re missing the knocked-over-Yifan’s-skin-care-products part,” added the maknae.
Jongin just grunted.
“We won’t tell, that’s the easy part,” Chanyeol placed his chin on the table, grumbled. “But Hyung, how could you so selfishly think that we would have enough food to feed all twelve of us? I’m disappointed.”
“It was Yixing’s idea!”
“And these all happened because of a cat? Where’s the cat anyway?”
“Um, it’s here,” Zitao picked Cat out from his fake Gucci bag which was now a pet-carrier bag.
Cat stumbled a little then walked directly toward Kyungsoo, eyeing him with huge black orbs and meowed very cutely.
Very, very cutely.
At that instant, Kyungsoo’s maternal instinct kicked in. “Awww, look at you.”
“Look at what?” said a familiar bass voice.
All heads turned to see Yifan and Junmyeon approaching the living room, carrying bags of groceries on both of their hands.
“Uh, HI! HYUNGDEUL!” Chanyeol greeted a bit too cheerfully, smiling so wide that all his teeth were visible. Sweating hard, he waved his hand behind his back, motioning his bandmates to form a human fortress to block Cat from the leaders’ range of visual abilities.
“What’s wrong with you, Yeol?” Junmyeon gave him a puzzled look. “Did anyone give you something radioactive to eat again?”
“Look at what, Kyungsoo?” Yifan asked, his tone demanded answers.
Jongdae cleared his throat. “Ge, we can explain...”
Silence ensued as Yifan furrowed his eyebrows and gave the members a judging look.
And they watched in horror, with their eyes rounded and jaws opened as Yifan put his large hand on Cat’s head, patting it fondly with a small smile tugging on his lips, “There, there, kitty kitty.”
“You knew I’ve been helping them all along,” Junmyeon sulked as he eyed his boyfriend with failed attempt of a menacing glare. Yifan laughed.
“Took you so long to figure out. If you were not so into cooing Cat you’d noticed that I’m allergic to fur,” Yifan leaned over and reached out to graze the tip of his fingers along the other’s cheek. But something caught on his nose that it made him sneeze.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Junmyeon was still pouting as he brushed away the remaining cat fur on his sweater.
“And ruining the whole fun? Seeing your expression when I petted Cat was rather enjoyable, you know.”
Yifan earned a punch on his arm. “Ow.”
“That’s for being a prat.”
But it only took three kisses on Junmyeon’s pout before it transformed into a smile.
A/N: This fic is loosely based on my feels for Kris/Suho that I can’t contain and the experience of having my first cat ;w; And no, I don’t wash it with Pantene! Thanks for reading!